The Cold Feeling of Memory

Here I sit, alone in this shell of a body. No one else can hear my thoughts, at least not the way I do. I find myself stuck in a spiral of wanting to feel something, but being so numb that there's no way that there is a good feeling to be found. It's like those days where you walk outside into the cold, cold weather, and all you can see is your breath fogging up your line of sight. For a moment your breath gets caught in your lungs, your body tries to fight off the goosebumps building on your skin. As you venture further into this cold weather, all you can think about is that warm feeling you had inside, how much you miss that but you can't get to it in that moment. If only the sorrows of today could bring back the joy I had yesterday, If only the pain I endure could be used as a bargaining chip for one moment of the happiness I once felt. But all I'm left with is the cold winter within my brain.